Providing Pregnancy Support to Someone You Know


Personal & Compassionate Care in a Difficult Time

Providing Pregnancy Support to Someone You Know

When a friend, relative, or acquaintance comes to you for help during an unplanned pregnancy, providing pregnancy support can be difficult. Thank you for taking time to help that person in need. We hope we can help you as well.

There are some basic principles that can be used in helping those in crisis:

  • First, if the person you are helping is suicidal, please get them help now. You should never take suicidal threats lightly. Call 911 for help. DO NOT leave the person alone if they have the means to harm themselves.
  • Second, we can serve you better if you come into our office and speak with one of our counselors. We offer FREE counseling, not just for the woman in an unplanned pregnancy, but for people who support her as well.

 If you are unable to come in, the following counseling principles may help:

  • A person in crisis usually feels overwhelmed.
  • They tend to think about the worst-case scenario.
  • Help the person in need to slow things down and to look at the possible good opportunities that can come from an unplanned pregnancy.
  • It is important to help this person rediscover her beliefs before she was in crisis.
  • If she was completely against abortion before, odds are that those beliefs will come back once the crisis is over, leaving her feeling regretful if she chose to have an abortion.
  • Encourage this person to get professional counseling before making a decision that will last a lifetime.

My Girlfriend

Dear _______,

I realize we are going through a tough time right now, but I do believe we can get through this if we are able to openly, honestly, and respectfully communicate with each other about our feelings and our needs. Maybe we haven’t really communicated before, but I would like that to change — starting now.

I’ll admit that I was pretty shocked at first, but I’ve had some time to really think about this, and I want you to know that I’m sorry we are going through such a difficult time — and I’m sorry it happened the way it did. I know we don’t feel ready to be parents right now, but I am willing to learn how to be a good parent. In fact, we can learn together.

I’m not sure if I told you this before, but I don’t think I could pick a better woman to carry my baby — a woman I know who will keep this baby safe until he/she is ready to be born. While I realize we have a tough road in front of us, I also know that along the way, we will experience many joys with this new little life. I cannot wait to hold this baby in my arms and grip the hand of our child as he/she walks through life.

I want you to know that I am here for you when you’re ready to talk. It won’t be easy but we *can* and *will* get through this. We can still reach our goals. There are people out there who can help us. The way I see it, we will need to prepare, unite, and conquer — and I know we can do it! I’m ready for the challenge, and I will be there for you.

We’re in this together, so please, don’t push me away. I’m here for you, and I’d like to talk. Please call me when you’re ready.

My Daughter

My girl, I know that you are going through a difficult time. It’s hard to talk to you without the intrusion of my own feelings, but here it goes. As a parent I want to say, “this is not what we planned; you were supposed to finish school, have financial stability”… but then I think “what if YOU weren’t planned?” I couldn’t imagine my life without you. We will work through this together because if this baby brings half the joy you have brought to me, I can’t wait. Be patient with me because I still have to sort through many things. This is part of life, and life is growing in you. I just need time to absorb all of this and be there for you.

Love, Mom

Dear ________,

I have so many things I want to say to you but I don’t know quite how to say it. I feel a mixture of shock, happiness, and hopefulness…and because I’m feeling these things all at once, I might say some things that come out the wrong way. So, please forgive me if I say anything that hurts you because hurting you is certainly not my intention.

I’ve had so many dreams for you ever since you were a little girl. One of those dreams was that one day you’d experience the joy, magic, and surprises of motherhood — and that I’d get to witness that moment in your life. I’ll admit that while I was hoping this dream would be fulfilled at a much later time in your life, I also know that we cannot always predict when we are going to be blessed with something as special as a child. This baby — this child of my child — will be loved and treasured more than words can express.

I want you to know that I am here for you to help you through this special time in your life. We will get through this together … and if we need any additional help, I know there are people out there who care about us and can help us. Please call me when you are ready to talk. I’ll be waiting for you.

Love, Mom

My Friend

Dear ________,

Where do I begin? We’ve been such good friends to each other, and I want you to know how much I treasure your trust in me to confide such privileged information that you’re pregnant. When you told me, I was both excited and shocked at the same time. But then I felt concern because lately you’ve seemed so confused and scared.

I know there are so many things you want to do with your life and that a baby seems to be standing in your way of achieving your dreams, but it doesn’t have to be that way! A baby doesn’t ruin your life, it just changes it, and those can very well be positive changes! I can help you juggle motherhood. I’ll even hold your hand while in labor! I just want you to know that I am here to help in any way that I can. You are not alone. Please call me. I care.

Love, your friend …

Hey Girl, please don’t feel so alone. The good thing about friendship is that we don’t let each other face our struggles alone. We’ve always been able to talk to each other about anything. What is it you are thinking about? What can I do? Just remember, you have so many people supporting you. You can do anything with that much love.

Remember when I was going through such a tough time? Your friendship meant the world to me. You didn’t run because you felt helpless. You ran to me because it was about ME and MY struggles, not about how you felt. That says a lot because you put yourself aside for me.

It goes both ways. I may not understand everything you are going through, but I’m here. I am here to listen, comfort, love, talk, give, support, to be whatever you need. This time it is all about YOU. It is also about your strengths and abilities, and what you CAN do, NOT what you CAN’T. I look forward to being here for you.

Love, your friend …

My Sister

Hey Sis,

I just wanted you to know that I am here for you. Your struggles may seem too much to bear some times, but they are not greater than your capabilities. Even though we come from the same background, some of our beliefs may be different. I do know one thing: I love you with your strengths and with your weaknesses. You are so special to me and I want you to rely on me, lean on me, and let me struggle with you.

It will be difficult to face all of the changes, but you don’t have to face them alone. You don’t know what surprises wait around the corner when you make those changes. It’s so nice to have a sister who not only helps me, but who I can help also.

Love, your sister …